What The Hell?
by sunnysfunny
Summary: Something gets taken away from John aka Pyro. Will he get it back? Does he even want to try?
1. Pyro's Dream

**A/N:** Another story of mine involving the one and only Pyro! Who else would it be... Bobby?

**Chapter Summary:** Pyro has a dream. (A/N: It's not what you think...believe me!)

**What the hell?**

** Ch. 1**

** Pyro's Dream  
**

A building in the middle of nowhere and Pyro is standing in front of it. He stares at it wishing that it would go on fire, so he could watch it burn and eventually fall. Unfortunately to his disappointment it doesn't go on fire but it crumbles and falls to the floor instead. Pyro simply shrugs at the rubble and moves on.

The trees are all on fire. "Now that's a sight," he said while looking up at the trees. The sky isn't blue but red instead, "That can't be good" he commented to himself. The ground is very hot but he doesn't notice. In the distance stands Rogue, she's pointing in the opposite direction. Pyro ignores her, but that was a mistake. In split second the trees went bare. The temperature drops and snow flakes begin to fall. He looked for his lighter, but it wasn't in any of his pockets. "Where's my damn lighter when you need it?" he mumbled as he folded his arms. Pyro went back to where Rogue was standing but she wasn't there anymore. He sighed, "Why don't I ever do what I'm told?"

The snow stops and the temperature rises. "Is this hell because it sure sucks," Pyro thought to himself. "It's boring too… there isn't anyone to annoy and the silence is slowly killing me!"

A bird flies over his head... no it doesn't poop on him but it does burst into flames. "Now that was awesome!" Pyro approved.

He walked about three miles and no one was in sight. The only building he saw was the one that crumbled right before his eyes.

Pyro stopped walking and was standing in the middle of... a road? He had no idea, but he'd had enough, "Where the fuck is everybody!" he screamed. He kicked the dust on the floor and mumbled, "And where the fuck am I?" Still frustrated Pyro kicked a nearby tree. A branch on fire fell from the tree. He got out of the way just in time, "That was close" he said as he looked at the branch on the ground.

He tried to get the flames to come to his hand but it didn't work. He tried again and the results were the same. That's when he realized his powers were gone.

Pyro looked down at his hands, "Fuck. Now _this_ is hell!"

Less than a minute later John woke up.

"What the hell was Rogue doing in my dream?"

**A/N Update:** I've gotten some ideas and I think I'll continue the story. I'll put the main summary in the next chapter since it's not going to be a one shot. Review please... I like to know what you think!

**My Notes:**

**1.** What would a pyromaniac dream about?

**2.**What would John aka Pyro dream about?

**3.** It's a dream so it doesn't necessarily have to make sense.

**A/N:** I might have gone a little too far with # 3. It's supposed to be a one shot but who knows? I might continue it if I'm able to think of a story to go along with his dream.

**FACT:** Did you know that if you dream (and everyone does) it occurs 15 minutes before you wake up?


	2. Dream Analyzing & Obnoxious Chatter

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Orli:** One shot...nah I decided that I couldn't end it like that.

**TheDreamerLady:** Great minds think alike! (cough 1 & 2) Before I read your review I was debating on those and I think I can make it work...and it looks like I am, hehe.

**plutospawn:** Heh, that wasn't my fault. Stupid Microsoft Word said to change it to that...well anyway thanks for letting me know...I thought it looked weird...and I usually ignore Microsoft Word! Lol

**Let me set up the story for all of you:**

_(Creepy narrator voice) _This story takes place 3 years after X2. John left The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants after a year. It took some time for Bobby and Rogue to forgive him but they did after awhile. Bobby and Rogue broke up a year ago, but they are still friends. John is now 21. (That info is needed for an undeveloped chapter) All of the chapters are undeveloped but when I get ideas they tend to stick.

**What The Hell?  
**

**Ch. 2**

**Dream Analyzing & Obnoxious Chatter**

* * *

After a crazy dream like that who could fall back asleep? It was 5:30 in the morning. John got out of bed, grabbed his lighter and headed to the bathroom. He splashed some water on his face to wake himself up.

John stared into the mirror and his brown eyes were staring back at him. He had a puzzled look on his face.

He went back to his room to put some clothes on. He placed his lighter on the dresser and took out a black t-shirt and denim jeans. After he put his clothes on, he grabbed the lighter and put it in his right pocket. Then John went to the kitchen for some breakfast. He took a bowl from the cabinet followed by a spoon. He grabbed his favorite cereal 'Apple Cheerios' from another cabinet. He opened the refrigerator and took out the milk. He poured the cereal in the bowl and then poured the milk into the bowl. He brought the bowl to the table and took a seat.

Two minutes later Bobby walked in.

"You're up early," Bobby said as he took a seat across from John.

"Yea, I had a weird dream and I couldn't fall back asleep."

"I wouldn't worry about it. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No... not really."

"Come on... they don't mean anything."

John looked at Bobby thinking about the last thing he said, "Okay fine. I don't know where I was, so don't ask. I was by myself mostly although Rogue showed up for a second and then disappeared. Trees were on fire and the sky was red. I didn't have my lighter with me which is very weird because as you and everyone in this school knows it's with me 24/7," John took a breath. "Oh, one more thing," John paused "my power was gone."

"Is that what you're freaking out about?" Bobby asked.

"Maybe," he muttered.

"Look, it's just a dream...stop being so dramatic. Why was Rogue in your dream?"

John shrugged, "I... I don't know."

Bobby grinned.

"What are you getting at?" John raised a brow.

"Oh I think you know," Bobby said slyly.

"We're just friends."

"Maybe your hormones want more," Bobby smirked.

John almost choked on his cereal, "Holy shit, did you just say that? That's something I would have said if the tables were turned. I think your hanging around me too much. I'm letting all of my _good_ traits rub off on you, mini me."

"Now that's a scary thought," Bobby shuddered.

John thought otherwise. "Two "Johns" running around reeking havoc..._now _there's an interesting thought."

Bobby turned things around, "So, there were two "John's" at the museum that day picking on humans?"

"Hey! He deserved it...he took my lighter when I simply said no... it's not my fault he was an ass."

Bobby pointed a finger at John, "If I recall correctly _you _were the ass."

"Was I talking about me? NO," John threw back with a grin.

"I'm just pointing out the facts."

_'I'm just pointing out the facts,' _He repeated, mocking his elemental opposite. "He was the ass and I'm sticking to it!" John slammed his fist on the table.

"Now you're definitely being dramatic"

"I think it's the cereal," suggested John.

"Probably. So what do you want to do today?" Bobby asked.

"Nothing," John replied.

"Sounds good to me."

"Really? Cause you _always _want to do something," John said, pointing the spoon at Bobby.

"I'm 'mini you' now," Bobby grinned.

"Fine, but just remember I'm the original."

"Got it," Bobby said.

"Good."

The two became silent for a while. Bobby had a slight smirk on his face. John was eating his cereal slowly to get the cheerios mushy, the way he liked them.

"What now?" John asked, annoyed.

"Talk to Rogue. Maybe you two can go out."

"I don't want to ruin the friendship."

"I think there's more to it than that." Bobby was trying to get John to open up.

"I don't know. Something just doesn't feel right," John said, flicking his lighter.

Bobby was silent. He knew the right time to shut up and listen.

"It's like I'm supposed to be alone." John stood up and placed the dishes in the dishwasher. "I'll see you later, Bobby. I need to be by myself." With that said John left Bobby in the kitchen.

**A/N: I'm so bad at leaving my stories as a one shot, but they seem to turn out just fine; and even better than I imagined. Review so I know that your reading... I'm not a mind reader... ya know.**


	3. Peace and quiet, maybe not

NY GE Pyromaniac - You can shake you fist at me all you want. Anyone one that watches The Simpsons is cool with me!

TheDreamerLady – I'm _always_ high when I read fics and when I review them...especially the good fics! I think I'll start calling it: Pyro High **:D**

Orli – Better than Snow and Fire, huh? I hope so!

preciousbabyblue- I'm glad you like it.

**What the hell?**

**Ch 3 – Peace and quiet...maybe not**

**NOTE**: Rogue has control over her mutation.

_Italics - _Thoughts

* * *

John was outside on a bench slightly slouching, and alone like he wanted. He had the lighter in his hand just staring into the flames. He was in his own little world slowly drifting away from reality.

Rouge was taking a walk when she noticed John sitting by himself.

She came up from behind.

"John."

He jumped at the sudden sound of his name and immediately broke out of the state he was in. The lighter fell out of his hand and on to the grass. 'Click' the lighter closed as soon as it hit the ground.

"Yes, Rogue..." John said calmly even though she scared the crap out of him.

"You seem like you need to talk."

He went to pick up the lighter from the ground but Rogue beat him to it.

She sat next to him. John held out his hand wanting his precious lighter back.

"I'll give it back, don't worry," she said.

John put his hand down and he kept quiet which bothered Rogue.

"What's up with you? You seem..."

He turned his head waiting for Rogue to share her concerns.

"Out of it."

'_Hello, you still have my lighter,' _John laughed to himself. "Am I going to have to fight you for that back?"

Rogue smiled. She opened his lighter and ignited it, "So why were you staring into the flames like it's a crystal ball?"

He grinned slightly, "I thought maybe I would be able to see my future."

"Seriously, John."

John laughed, "Am I ever serious?

Rogue sighed. She closed the lighter and glared at him.

"Okay, okay, seriously...I was just thinking about a dream I had and I just spaced out. I'm just confused by it since it didn't make sense _at all_."

"The main point is, it wasn't real."

'_It felt real, but more importantly...why were you in it? And why the hell would I dream about losing my gift! Ha, like that could ever happen!' _John smiled, "I'm worrying over nothing... thanks, Rogue."

Rogue smiled, "Glad I could help."

'_God I love it when she smiles...oh crap I'm starring at her. Did she notice? Change the subject fast you moron! _"Oh and Bobby is mini _**me**_ now so if he starts acting weird that's why. Well, he's always weird but if he's weirder than usual... heads up"

"When did this come up?"

"During breakfast. I think it was the cheerios. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I think you're the weird one."

"It's about time someone noticed," John nudged her with his elbow.

Rogue stood up and started heading back to the mansion. "John remember, it's just a dream. Don't stress over it."

"Umm Rogue..."

She turned around, "Yeah?"

"You still have my lighter."

"Ha, and to think you wouldn't notice."

John raised an eyebrow, "I may be weird; but that's just crazy!"

* * *

**A/N:** **Review, thanks! For those of you that read my other stories I should be updating Snow and Fire don't mix as well as Fiery Wrath soon! I'm working on them now actually.**


	4. Safe Haven

* * *

Thanks for the reviews!

**A/N:** Enjoy! I know I did writing it (cough) after the writer's block!

**What the hell?**

**Ch. 4**

**Safe Haven**

* * *

John was watching Rogue walk back to the mansion and thought, _'I'm not weird, just crazy for you.'_

He glanced at the lighter in his hand and smirked, "Like I wouldn't notice". John got off the bench and gripped his lighter tight before he walked back towards the mansion.

Rogue, Jubilee, Kitty, Piotr, and a few other students were in the game room. Bobby was in the middle of the room. As John was walking through the halls he heard clicking. The clicks weren't from him. Click-click-click _'God damn that is annoying'_ John thought, as he was trying to find out who was doing it. The clicks were coming from the game room. John watched from afar as he was leaning on the door frame. He couldn't help but grin at the scene.

Bobby had one of John's spare silver lighters in his hand.

_'He's doing a pretty good job,'_ John noted.

Watching Bobby flick the lighter was priceless. No one noticed that John was there leaning on the door frame. '_What better way to make your entrance by doing what you do best_..._ showing off.'_

Bobby ignited the lighter. John decided that this was the perfect opportunity to interrupt. He had the flames come to his hand. As everyone in the room turned around John grinned, "The one _little_ thing you can't mimic me on."

John walked to the middle of the room.

"So what did you think, John?" Bobby asked.

He patted Bobby on the shoulder, "You might want to stick to being your self."

John left the game room smug... what was the fun of telling the truth even if Bobby hit his personality and habits exactly on the head.

Bobby turned around to the audience, "Was I that bad?"

Rogue ran out of the room to catch up to John.

"Hey John wait up! What are you doing later tonight?"

"Nothing," he replied.

"Good, don't make plans because you are busy as of now."

"Wha-" John didn't get to finish his sentence because Rogue was gone in a flash. Leaving him there to ponder.

------------------------------------------------

It was 10 o'clock at night and yes, John was still pondering. It bugged him practically all day.

He was in his room alone sitting on the bed slowly rolling his shark lighter through each finger.

Rogue barged in.

"Don't you knock?" John asked, hinting at a certain incident.

"What's the point? It's not like I haven't seen something that I shouldn't have already."

Hook, line, and sinker... she took the bait.

John grinned, "That's what happens when you don't knock."

Rogue crossed her arms, "When I came in that day you didn't complain or try to cover up. You stood there with your arms spread out asking if I liked what I saw!"

John jumped off the bed, "I knew it! You did like it. How come you didn't say anything when I asked that day?"

She didn't answer. She didn't want him to get excited but she damn well knew he was probably excited already.

Rogue grabbed his hand and pulled him to follow her.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

She smiled, "You will see soon enough."

Rogue was pulling John through every corner. Left, right, left, right... it seemed like a maze.

"Are we lost?" John asked.

Rogue grinned and rolled her eyes.

"Maybe we should ask for directions," John joked.

Rogue laughed.

"Why don't girls like asking for directions?" he asked, sarcastically.

Rogue punched him, "Shut up, John"

"Why do girls like punching me? Do I have 'punch bag' written on my forehead?"

"Maybe because you're an ass."

John stopped dead in his tracks. He was pretending to be surprised. "I'm an ass?"

Rogue was about to punch him again but this time John was ready and grabbed her arm before she hit him.

"You didn't get me that time so now you have to kiss me."

She wasn't surprised by his request. In fact she was waiting for him to come out and make a move. He kept to himself a lot. She liked that about him. He was sort of mysterious in a way. Which made Rogue wonder who the real John Allerdyce was.

John let go of her arm as she fully turned to him. She raised her hands half way and his fingers intertwined with hers. The kiss was priceless. When they released she was starring at him. Rogue was speechless.

"So, umm where were we going?"

"Oh right," she grabbed his arm again. "It's just around the corner."

He gave her a look.

She gave him a half smile, "I promise...besides you need a good walk anyway."

John cocked his head, "What are you saying?"

Rogue grinned, "I think you know."

He snorted, "I'm as skinny as can be! And you say I'm the ass!"

"That's because you are."

John gave up, "No matter what... I'm not going to win am I?"

Rogue shook her head.

"Are we there yet?" John asked again. It was about the fifth time he asked but who's counting?

They finally came to a door.

"Now we are," She said.

"Where does that lead to?"

She opened the door, "The roof. I like to come here to be alone. No one else knows about it except for me, and now you."

"How did you find it?"

"I don't remember. I've been coming here for awhile to clear my head... well I try too. You talk a lot in my head more than anyone else in there!" She poked his chest, "More than _you_ do"

John shrugged, "It seems when ever I talk people always want to kill me"

"That's because you're an ass! But I like ya anyway."

"What's with the name calling? I already know I'm an ass!"

She shrugged and sighed. She allowed him to go through the door first. "Asses go first", she announced, grinning. She stopped when he started to turn around.

He looked back at her.

Rogue shrugged, "What? Was it something I said?" She could be an ass too.

---------------------------------------

The sky was clear and filled with stars. The moon was full and bright as ever. Rogue was the first to sit down on the roof. John sat after.

"Excellent view," John said.

There was a light breeze. A piece of Rogue's hair was in her face. John moved it out of the way. He gently touched the side of her face. John was so deep with passion; Rogue had never ever seen this side of him. This was the John Allerdyce she was waiting for.

She leaned in closer and kissed him. When they stopped John laid down on the roof. Rogue went on top of him. She smiled, "Are you ready for more?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

They were on the roof for about two hours making out and talking about random things.

Eventually John drifted off to sleep. Rogue had her arm over his stomach, and her head was lying on his chest. Her arm would rise and fall with his each breath. She liked listening to his heart beat. It was relaxed and steady.

John was in a deep sleep, he was dreaming again...

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Thanks you NY GE Pyromaniac for buggin' me about this story. I was able to push myself to finish the chapter!


	5. Dreaming Again

Orli – I'm soooo happy you like it. I'm glad I decided to add more chapters!

A Lost Soul – Welcome to my fiery world...lots and lots of Pyro...just the way I like it!

Phoenyx – Ack don't cry I don't want that! Yeah I know I should be getting more reviews but I've noticed other people haven't been updating as much...so maybe it's just slow around ff.

Coletterby – I'm glad you started reading it and you can burn me all you want I won't mind.

Now that the thanks are done...ENJOY!

**What The Hell?**

**Ch. 5**

**Dreaming again**

_Italics – John's dream_

* * *

John was in such a deep sleep, a bomb could go off and he wouldn't hear a thing.

He was dreaming again...

_The sky was red, once again. The ground was hot therefore, the grass was dead. Brick walls surrounded him. John was separated from everything and everyone. The silence made things even worse. No chirping birds, no noises coming from cars, no insignificant chatter, nothing! If it wasn't the isolation that was torture it was the silence. The silence would cause anyone to commit suicide._

Rogue was glad she shared her safe haven with him. Bobby would have told her it was too dangerous to be on the roof. Logan would think she was trying to hide something. In other words, no one would understand. John on the other hand, didn't question. He could care less why people did certain things and personally it wasn't his business. No one likes to be interrogated for their acts or decisions they make.

_John turned around and out of nowhere there was Rogue standing five feet away from him. He was aware that she was holding something behind her back._

Rogue noticed John's heart beat became more rapid. She had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. She sat up and shook him, "Get up, John."

_Rogue was slowly approaching him. She grinned as her eyes flashed from brown to yellow._

She shook him again. "John please wake up!"

John shot up and grabbed her wrist tightly.

"John?" Rogue asked softly, "Are you okay?"

He was silent. Rogue couldn't tell if he was in some sort of shock. His eyes were open but he hadn't blinked once since he sat up.

"John?" Rogue said again, softly.

After a minute or two John finally broke out of it. He turned to look at her, "I'm fine."

She didn't know what to say. He obviously wasn't fine. "Great," she paused. "Can you let go of my wrist now?"

He looked at his hand which was locked tight to her wrist. He let go instantly. "I'm so sorry, Rogue. I didn't mean to grab you like that."

She was rubbing her wrist, "It was an accident, but right now my main concern is you."

"I'll be fine... really. It was just a dream. Nothing to be worried about." John reassured her even though for some reason he _was_ worried about it.

Both were silent, unsure of what to say.

John broke the silence. "We should go back inside... it's going to take us like an hour to get back to our rooms. Now that I think about it... were you lost when you found the door to the roof in the first place?"

Rogue had her hands on her hips, "Do you ever quit?"

John grinned, "I'm not a quitter."

"I'll just ignore you then."

"People _try_ to ignore me but it never works."

"Good to know."

John felt really bad about hurting her. He would never ever intentionally put his hands on a girl like that. "Again, I'm sorry about your wrist. If and when it starts to turn red make sure Wolverine doesn't come after me. He could probably stab me before I'm able flick my lighter open."

"I'll protect you."

"When did I say I needed protection?"

"Wolverine could snap you in two!"

"First you say I'm a little over weight and now you say I'm as skinny as a twig! Make up your mind, woman!"

Rogue couldn't help but laugh. John was ridiculously witty.

He started to babble about how all the girls always bugged him.

"John."

He didn't hear her.

She repeated, raising her voice a notch, "John!"

Nothing changed.

"JOHN!"

He stopped blabbing, "What?"

"Chill out!" She said slowly so he could hear every syllable.

"See that's what I'm talking about! The girls make me bitch. Then they don't like it and then they use those two words together that I absolutely hate!"

"That's the point, John."

He laughed, "It's not that simple."

They finally reached her room.

"John, trust me." She opened the door to her room, "Girls talk a lot, so yes, it is that simple."

She shut the door unable to see his expression. She pictured him with a slight grin. He was turning it into some conspiracy when it wasn't even close. And yes, it was as simple as that.

Everything made sense now and he felt like an idiot. John grinned all the way to his room. Bobby was sound asleep, snoring as usual.

John was practically up all night staring at the ceiling. He felt like those yellow eyes were watching him.

Was he just being paranoid or was this feeling accurate?

* * *

**A/N:** I'm finding this story to be easy to write (a lot easier than I anticipated) so when I get the chapters done I'll update ASAP! I'm thrilled this fic is receiving awesome reviews..._again_ thank you!


	6. Reality

**A/N: It's that time again...another installment of 'What the Hell?' Thanks for the reviews, enjoy!**

**What the Hell?**

**Ch. 6**

**-Reality-**

It was seven in the morning. John tossed and turned all night. He managed to get in two hours at the most.

John rolled out of bed. He felt like a zombie. He couldn't tell if he was still sleeping or if he was awake.

He managed to get to the bathroom in one piece. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he noted that he was awake and that he looked like hell...maybe worse than hell.

"Dude, you look like shit," Bobby yelled across the bathroom.

John looked at his reflection again and yelled back, "I was going for hell, but shit seems right."

Given John's appearance that would lead to Bobby's intrusive question...

"What the hell did you and Rogue do to each other last night?"

John changed the subject. It wasn't any of Bobby's business or anyone else for that matter, "What the hell are you still doing in here, Bobby? You're probably worse than the girls."

The other guys in the bathroom laughed.

Bobby smirked, "Changing the subject are we?"

"There is nothing to tell, besides the fact that you've probably been in here for over an hour."

"Not even... it's only been around 45 minutes."

"I rest my case."

John was about to leave the bathroom, but before he did he turned around to tell Bobby one more thing, "When you see Rogue...do me a favor and ice her wrist for me."

John gave Bobby a 'see ya later' wave as he left the bathroom.

"Looks like someone was rough last night," Bobby said to Piotr who was next to him.

John peaked back in, "I heard that Vanilla-Ice" and left again. He went back to his room to get dressed. He was crouched looking for Jeans that were in the last drawer. Every now and then he would look over his shoulder to check to see if someone was behind him. Hence, he still felt like he was being watched.

John stood up and walked to the window. No one was outside. _"Why am I being so fucking paranoid? God I'm driving myself crazy!" _John took a deep breath and continued getting dressed.

He made it down the stairs with out any interruptions. His hand on the knob when-

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" asked Jubilee.

"Fuck breakfast... I'm going out."

"Someone got off the wrong side of the bed."

"Yeah, I did... I don't know why I even bothered to get out." John sighed as he shut the door and left the mansion.

John was casually walking the grounds. Once in awhile he would set something on fire...it always made him feel better. You know like when you have home made chicken soup when you're sick, same thing really.

He stopped and sat down at the same bench as last time. He sat there trying to relax his nerves and mind.

John heard foot steps. He didn't look behind him. He flicked the lighter open 'click'...

"Hey, John."

'click' John closed the cap and placed the lighter in his pocket, "Rogue...that's the second time you snuck up on me. Exact same place too."

"Some habits will never be broken," she said as she sat next to him.

John grinned at her statement, "How's your wrist?"

"It a little sore, but it's not red or anything. Bobby iced it for me just like you asked."

"That's good."

"Are you okay? You look like crap."

"I'm fine but I didn't sleep well last night. I would have slept better with you next to me."

She giggled, "Oh yeah, I bet," she leaned over and kissed him. "Good morning"

"All of my mornings should start like that... I feel better already"

"Well, I'm going to go back inside. Are you coming?" She asked, outstretching her arm.

He shook his head, "No, not now, I need some fresh air... I'll see you later."

"Okay, see you later."

* * *

Rogue came back five minutes later.

John rubbed his head, "Man, I really need to get a good night's sleep! I thought you were going inside?"

"I changed my mind" She said simply.

"I knew you couldn't resist me," he grinned.

Rogue was fast. She stabbed John's arm with a needle.

"Ow! What the hell, Rogue?"

John noticed Rogue's eyes flashed from brown to yellow before everything went black.

"Sleep tight...you'll need it," she whispered.

He fell unconscious into Mystique's arms as she morphed into her original form.

* * *

A/N: That's it for now, but don't worry I'll write more... eventually.


	7. Lab Rat

**A/N: **Sorry for the wait. I started working full time and this chapter never seemed ready until now, enjoy!

Thanks for all of the reviews...keep 'em coming!

**What the Hell?**

**Ch. 7**

**-Lab Rat-**

(Few hours later)

"Has anyone seen John?" Rogue asked that same question to everyone in the mansion and the responses were all the same... 'no'.

She ended up in the kitchen annoyed and frustrated. She plopped down in a chair across from Logan.

Logan snorted, "Sounds like deja vu all over again."

Rogue rolled her eyes at him. This wasn't a joke. She knew deep down something wasn't right. She turned around in her chair as Bobby walked in, "Bobby, have you seen John?"

"Not since this morning. He looked like hell..." Bobby replied while getting a tub of ice cream. If you touched his ice cream and he found out...it wasn't a pretty sight. John did it often and on purpose. Sometimes he would take it out of the freezer and let it sit on the counter to melt; and other times he would purposely put nuts into the container because he knew Bobby was allergic. He would place them on top of the ice cream where they would be spotted right away... it's not like he wanted to kill the snowman. Once John placed one nut on top and put the container back in the freezer. When he went back to his room he started laughing. Bobby knew right away something was up, "What did you do to my ice cream, Dyce?" After that John was hysterical and Bobby ran down the stairs like a speeding bullet. Even with one nut Bobby would toss the container in the trash. It was funny to watch him bitch. Bobby would 'yell' and John would grin flicking his lighter letting everything Bobby said go in one ear and out the other.

"He had another dream yesterday... he didn't talk about it. I woke him up during it and that's when he grabbed my arm."

Logan's expression changed.

Rogue pointed her index finger at Logan, "Don't do _anything_... it was entirely an accident." She paused remembering John's expression after he woke up from his dream, "You should have seen him. He was pretty freaked out... anyway I saw him today, but that was a few hours ago."

"Maybe he went back with Magneto." Bobby said, looking for a spoon.

She snapped, "He wouldn't do that to us again, Bobby. Not to me at least!" Rogue paused to stop herself from biting Bobby's head off. She stood up from her chair and she walked to the window to stare outside. Before she continued she took a deep breath and let out an annoyed sigh, "You know something's out of the ordinary if you don't hear that damn lighter at least once every half hour...every hour at the most."

* * *

John was still unconscious from the syringe Mystique had injected into him. He was lying on a metal table. His hands and legs were bound to it. The room was basically empty besides the machines he was hooked up to.

The machines started to beep more rapidly as John was coming out of his unconscious state. He blinked a few times to clear his vision. He immediately turned his head to the side to see where that annoying noise was coming from. John groaned at the vital monitor and looked back up at the ceiling. Feeling well enough to sit up, John tried using his hand to prop himself up, but it wouldn't budge. "What the f-"

John was cut off. "Welcome back, Pyro."

He turned his head to the right. Magneto had a big grin plastered on his face.

John turned his head again to stare back at the ceiling. Magneto was the last person he wanted to see. "Please tell me I'm dreaming."

"No, as a matter of fact this is very real."

John's day was getting worse by the minute. "Why am I here? What do you want?" he asked, irritated.

Magneto walked closer to John, "I told you there would be hell to pay if you left."

"I left three years ago... why now?"

"Excellent question, Pyro."

Mystique walked into the room holding another syringe.

John tugged on the restraints, "I bet I wasn't being paranoid... you were watching me weren't you, Mystique?"

She grinned.

"I'll take that as a yes." He stopped tugging at the restraints as it was getting him nowhere.

Mystique handed Magneto the syringe. He held it up for Pyro to see, "This is why."

Smart asses never resist the urge to crack a joke. John grinned, "I already took my booster shot this year. Can I go now?"

Magneto glared, "No."

"It was worth a... _shot_." Pyro was still grinning. He was starting to get on Magneto's nerves and each moment was priceless.

However, Magneto meant business and Pyro's smart mouth would have to be ignored as he went on with the main objective... his latest plan. "This, my boy, is one of a kind."

Pyro stopped smirking. "I don't want it," he said, now serious. This wasn't a game. Magneto doesn't play games when it comes to mutant superiority.

"You don't have a choice." Magneto was done talking. He stuck the syringe in Pyro's arm.

John winced, "God damn it...that hurts!"

"I thought you were tougher than that," mocked Magneto.

"Well," John paused and glared, "If I wasn't strapped down to the table like a mental patient, things would be different."

Magneto grinned, "I highly doubt that..._ Pyro._"

John noticed the change in Magneto's voice when he said his codename that time. It was odd and Magneto definitely did it on purpose.

"Mystique and I will be back later. We need to let the serum do its work."

"Can we at least get a television set in here?" John asked.

"No," Magneto replied before leaving the room.

John yelled, "Well, what am I supposed to do? Just lay here and twiddle my thumbs?" He paused for a second, "Shit! I can't even do that!" _'I hope you heard that... leaving me here to be bored to death, asshole.'_

* * *

"Where's the Professor?" Rogue asked.

"Out," replied Logan.

"Don't tell me we are just going to sit here and wait!" She was getting impatient.

Yes, that's exactly what they were going to do and time wasn't a thing to waste.

Rogue left the kitchen and went up stairs to wait for him. She knew John wouldn't betray her like that again. He just couldn't! Could he?

* * *

Pyro was left alone for over an hour and he didn't feel any different. However, the second hour was a different story. He definitely didn't feel the same as he did earlier.

Magneto and Mystique came back.

"How are you doing, _Pyro_?" Magneto asked using the same tone when he said John's codename.

"Fuck off!" John snapped.

"That bad?" Magneto shrugged, "Well, I guess there are a few side effects." He released Pyro's hands and feet and Pyro sat himself up death staring Magneto.

"I'm sure you're wondering what I did to you, and I'll be more than happy to tell you." Magneto paused for a few seconds to let Pyro's thoughts wander. "The serum I gave you took away your mutant 'gift'." Magneto said bluntly.

Pyro was silent.

"Therefore, you no longer have the ability to manipulate fire." He showed no remorse for what he was telling Pyro. Frankly, he was enjoying every moment.

Pyro laughed sarcastically, "Bullshit!"

"Not that you will need this anymore, but I believe this is yours," Magneto grinned as he handed the shark lighter to Pyro. Pyro flicked it open and started the flame. He concentrated on the flames and willed them to extinguish. Magneto could see the frustration and defeat on Pyro's face. The Master of Magnetism was grinning even more now... his concoction had worked and he had proof.

Pyro tried a few more times before giving up. He pocketed his lighter and once again glared at Magneto.

"It's genius really," he gloated. "It took me three years to complete it and you were my first lab rat, _congratulations._" Magneto mocked.

Pyro was angry...really angry. He made a fist as he made eye contact with Magneto. He spoke slowly so Magneto could hear every word, "You are going to pay."

Magneto laughed in his face, "What are _you_ going to do?"

Pyro was silent. All he knew was Magneto would pay one day and that's all that would matter. _Magneto was lucky this time_.

"Mystique throw this human out," Magneto ordered.

Pyro slid off the metal table and gritted his teeth, "I'll throw myself out."

Pyro walked to the door. "It was nice seeing you again, _John_" He stopped in his tracks...Magneto would not get the last word! Pyro turned around only to see Mystique and Magneto grinning. He turned around again so that his back was facing them. Pyro flipped the birdie and left. It wasn't the best come-back, but clearly Magneto won overall.

As soon as John got outside he knew his whereabouts. It took him over an hour barely making his way back to the mansion and he felt worse than he did before. John's breathing was heavy. In addition, he was also very pale and extremely tired. He made it to the front door and opened it.

"John!" exclaimed Rogue.

He gave her a half smile before passing out in the doorway.

* * *

**A/N:** You like? I like! Hit me...with reviews...or I just won't update anymore...how would u like that? Ack, don't throw tomatoes at me...I'll update don't worry! The reviews just help... _a lot_!

Still think I'm evil, Orli?


	8. Broken

kyo-kitty – (gasp) I would never stop writing this fic…not even Aaron Stanford could stop me…okay _maybe_ just him.

**A/N:** Wow! What the hell have I been doing that I haven't updated this in months? Anyway enjoy!

**What the Hell?**

**Chapter 8**

**Broken**

John was in the mansion's infirmary. Rogue was sitting by his side. He looked so peaceful lying in the bed. So still, so calm…so quiet. It was freaking her out. The only thing keeping her from going nuts was the John in her head. She was also holding his lighter in her hand. Just holding it and staring at it. He loved that thing so much. Most people didn't understand. Hell, even she didn't but it meant something to him and that was that.

She glanced over at John. No change. She glanced back at the lighter in her hand and flicked it open and then ignited it. Her gaze was focused on the flame and only the flame. Suddenly John started to move and she closed the cap instantly.

"John?" Rogue said softly.

He shot up in the bed, "Where am I?"

"Relax. You're in the infirmary in the mansion."

"Prove to me that you're you."

"What?"

"That bitch won't fool me again."

Rogue was confused but he wanted proof so that's what she gave him. "When I need space…I go to the roof."

With that information John laid back down, "Can I have my lighter?"

"But John…"

He snapped, "Just give it to me!" He sighed, "Please."

Rogue didn't ask any questions as she handed him the lighter. He flicked it open and lit it. He tried to increase the flames but the results were the same.

John closed the cap and squeezed the lighter tight in his hand. "I can't believe this…I really fucking can't!"

"John, please tell me what's wrong. What happened to you?"

John turned his head slowly to the right to look at her. There was anger in his eyes. He faked a laugh, "Long story short" he paused, "I'm human."

Rogue was silent.

"Mystique pretended to be you, drugged me, and brought me to Magneto. I don't know what he injected me with but he neutralized my x-gene." He sarcastically laughed to himself, "That's right. Magneto knew the right thing to take away from me to piss me off and he did it successfully."

"John, this is probably temporary."

"Magneto's plans are never temporary. I don't even think he knows the word 'temporary'. For example, the Liberty Island plan wasn't going to be temporary especially and most importantly for you." He touched the white streak in her hair.

Rogue understood his point. She didn't know what to say…he was right. "John, we can fix this. I'm sure the Professor will think of something. Was the serum just for you or is there more to it?"

"He said _'You're my first lab rat'_ I'm guessing I'm not but I'm really not sure." John rubbed his eyes, "How long was I out?"

"Around 48 hours."

"I know you're wondering…and I wish I could say it feels like I've been shot but it doesn't. I feel like I'm dead."

"John-"

"Where are my clothes?" He said as he stared at the door. He couldn't stand looking at her. He didn't want her pity. He didn't want reassurance. He just wanted to be left alone.

She didn't answer.

"Fine, I'll look for them myself." He started to get out of the bed.

"John, just stay put. I have your clothes right here." She took them out of the drawer behind her.

"Give them to me."

"I will but you have to promise to not leave this room."

John sighed, "Are you serious?"

"The Professor just wants to talk to you."

"Just tell him what I told you"

"Do it for me. Okay?" Rogue pleaded.

"Fine." John held out his hand and Rogue gave him his clothes.

"How are you doing?" She asked as he was done getting dressed.

John gave her a look, "Just peachy."

"Stupid question, sorry."

The room became silent…which didn't sit to well with John. "I hate this room. It's so fucking white…scratch that…it's nothing but white."

"Look, I know you're angry-"

John cut her off and stared at the door again, "You have no idea what's going through my head right now. You have no idea how I feel. You know nothing."

**A/N: **Hooray I updated! Poor John. What's going to happen next? Only I know and I bet you want to find out so hit me with reviews and tell me to update while you're at it!


	9. Survival of the Fittest

**A/N: **Thanks for all of the reviews! Lets continue…shall we?

**What The Hell?**

**Ch. 9**

**Survival of the Fittest**

And then there was silence.

John couldn't believe he said that to her, but he wasn't going to apologize either. She didn't understand. In his point of view, the one and _only one_ thing that made him special was taken away without his permission.

Ten extremely _long _silent minutes felt like five hours to John as the Professor finally entered the room.

"John, would you like Rogue to leave the room?" Xavier asked.

"She can stay."

"I need you to tell me what occurred before you passed out. What do you remember? Know?"

John repeated to the Professor what he told Rogue earlier.

"I need to run some tests first and then we will take it from there. I'll have the results in two hours."

John frowned at the sight of more needles. He was silent during the procedures trying hard not to think of the hell he'd been through.

"Are you okay?" Rogue asked but he didn't hear her. Memories came rushing back and that's when he gave in. "I can't do this!" John yelled as he stormed out of the room.

"John will be fine, Rogue. Just give him some space. We will figure this out."

"I'm just really worried about him."

* * *

John made it to his room unnoticed. He sat on the side of his bed, elbows placed on his legs, and his face buried in his hands. Eventually he lowered his hands and looked over at the mirror. He stood up and walked over to it. He didn't like what he saw. What he saw was a John Doe.

He became disgusted at his reflection and turned away. When he got to the middle of the room he reached into his pocket and took out his shark lighter. His back still facing the mirror he looked at the lighter in his palm, griped it tight, turned around, and threw it at the mirror. The mirror shattered into a million pieces…on Bobby's side. John locked the door knowing nosy mutants would come barging in without knocking. He was right.

Less then two minutes later the knob was tried first then came the knocking. "Are you alright?"

"Go away." John said as calm as can be.

"Are you sure?"

"Go away." He repeated in the same tone.

Finally Jamie got the hint and left.

John picked up a piece of glass. He wanted to cut himself…to see if he could still feel. He placed the sharpest tip on his forearm. He stared at the glass, at his arm, but he couldn't pierce the skin. John shook his head and dropped the glass, "What the hell am I doing?"

John left the room and his lighter on the floor in the middle of the glass where it landed.

He practically ran to get out of the mansion. It felt good to be outside, the slight breeze running through his hair, the warmth from the sun on his skin, and the clear sky as blue as the ocean.

It was so peaceful and quiet until John heard something fall out of the tree to his right. John walked over to the tall tree and saw a baby robin on the ground. He knew it was a robin because it's belly had patches of red. He stood over it and he crossed his arms, "I can't just leave you there…Rogue would kill me." He crouched down and scooped up the robin. For the first time since he found out he couldn't manipulate fire the tiny bird actually made John smile. "I guess you were trying to fly," he said to the bird. "And as we both know…you didn't do very well."

He sat at a nearby bench with the robin in his palm. "You look a little scrawny. Your brothers and sisters didn't want to share, huh?" He paused a moment before adding, "Neither did mine."

John grabbed an earthworm before it dug into the ground and held it up near the robin. "You look old enough to eat this on your own. Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm not regurgitating this!"

The robin opened its mouth and John lowered the worm into its mouth. In a flash the worm was gone and the robin's mouth was open once again. John shrugged, "I don't have anymore." The robin closed its mouth. "What should I name you? I could call you Robin but that's not very original. How about…Rob?" John laughed, "I'm not very good at this." The bird was just staring at him. "I'll just call you Robin then. Since I'm not sure if you're a female or male so…Robin it is. The real question is…what am I going to do with you?"

The robin yawned and closed its eyes. "I'll figure that out later I guess." He said softly. John peacefully sat outside with the robin sleeping in his palm.

30 minutes later…

'_John, I need to speak to you. Please meet me in my office.'_

John completely forgot about his dilemma…until now. He walked into the mansion with Robin in his hand. John knocked on the Professor's door and let himself in.

"Have a seat." The Professor said.

"No thanks. I think I'll stand."

"Who is your new friend?"

John sighed. He didn't have the patience for small talk especially since he knew why Xavier wanted to speak to him. "Robin. It fell out of the tree. Didn't you say you wanted to tell me something?"

"I went over the results and the only person that can undo what was done is Erik. Either that or we'll have to get his files. John, we will resolve this. The X-Men and I need time to figure out where Erik is and how to go about this in a stealth way."

John wasn't surprised. He knew it would take more than some simple tests to either find out what Magneto did or fix it. John showed no emotion nor replied. He just handed the Professor the robin and went off to his room.

When John entered his room Rogue was sitting on his bed with the lighter in her hand looking at him and then the glass.

"It slipped." He replied as he took the lighter from her. John grabbed his brown leather jacket from the chair it was hanging over and put it on. "Well, it looks like I won't be needing this anymore." He said as he threw the lighter in the garbage can and left the room.

* * *

**A/N**: Happy Birthday 'What the Hell?'! (lol that sounds funny.) Please review, thanks! Btw, if you're wondering why I had John find a baby bird…well his dream did involve a bird so I figured…why not? However, Robin will not be bursting into flames like the bird in his dream. I'm not _that_ evil.


	10. Hollow

**A/N: **Holy sh… I haven't updated this fic in (almost) a year. Sorry about that. Thanks for the reviews and pushing/reminding me to update!

**What The Hell?**

**Ch. 10**

**Hollow**

John ended up at small bar called Red Horizon. The bar was fairly dark and basically empty besides a few people drinking, two waitresses, and a bar tender. John went to the back of Red Horizon and sat in the last stool. He ordered beer after beer. John had just finished his fourth. Before he ordered another, he stared into the empty bottle, which reflected his current state of mind. He put the empty bottle down, and started on his fifth when a familiar figure sat next to him. He didn't have to look directly at the person… he noticed the white streak in the corner of his eye.

"Go away, Rogue. I don't want you here." He said bitterly.

"That's too bad because I'm not leaving without you."

He sighed, "Just leave me alone."

"John, I'm worried about you. Talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Bullshit!" She spat.

John slammed the bottle of beer on the counter. He turned to her and snapped, "Just go home!"

"Is he bothering you, hun?" The bartender asked. His eyes were on Rogue and only Rogue.

John rolled his eyes, "Actually, she's bothering _me_."

"How many beers has he had so far?" Rogue asked.

"He's on his fifth." Replied the bartender, still eyeing her while drying glasses.

"Don't give him anymore."

John's temper started to rise. Once again he was _invisible._ "Are you going to listen to a mutant?" He retorted, unable to control the words coming out of his mouth.

In an instant, the bartender's face changed. He was about to grab Rogue's arm.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…" John placed the half empty bottle on the counter and stood up. He cautiously eyed the bartender considering the fact that he might ignore his warning and lay a finger on her. He didn't care about the bartender getting hurt; he cared about Rogue. John didn't want her to ever get hurt, but to get hurt because of him… that was unacceptable.

"Both of you," the bartender pointed to the door, "Get out of my bar."

John didn't protest. He walked behind Rogue out of the bar into the pouring rain.

Without saying a word, John and Rogue stood in front of Red Horizon. The rain came down hard and steady. John lowered his head and turned to Rogue, "I'm sorry." His tone was sincere. He looked up and moved closer and gently kissed her wet forehead.

She wrapped her arms around him and held on as tight as she could, "If you bottle your anger, it will kill you."

"I know." John paused and ran his hand through his wet hair, "There is something I need to do… alone." He slightly smiled, "It's late, go back to the mansion. We can talk tomorrow."

Rogue looked at John unsure if she should leave him alone. He definitely wasn't sober.

He gently rubbed her shoulders, "I'll be fine. Don't worry so much. How did you find me?"

Rogue was about to reply, but he cut her off, "Nevermind. It doesn't matter." He quickly changed the subject, "Do you have a ride or are you going to walk in the rain?"

"I borrowed Scott's motorcycle." She pointed to the right, glanced at it and looked back at John.

Surprised, he asked, "You know how to drive one of those?"

"Logan taught me." Rogue smiled. She liked the _little_ things Logan taught her. "I would offer you a ride but you're not sober. Maybe next time, bub."

John grinned for two reasons. The obvious 'bub,' and the last time someone said 'maybe next time' was Logan when John stated he wanted to drive when the mansion was raided. "I'm starting to wonder if Logan is secretly brainwashing you."

Rogue had a big smile on her face. She really missed John's sense of humor. She automatically gave him a hug and whispered in his ear, "I love you".

Not allowing him to reply, Rogue released her firm hold and hopped onto the bike.

Rogue revved the motorcycle. With the black helmet on, she glanced at John. He stood in awe as his jaw dropped. It was a drool-worthy sight. In a blink she was gone.

John almost decided to just go home and push his anger and hatred aside, but what he was about to do next was something that had to be done tonight.

The rain had ceased, John stood outside the building that made his nightmare come to life. He was holding a bottle of lighter fluid in his hand. A little while earlier John had someone buy the fluid for him. The last thing he needed was his face on a surveillance tape in the convenience store purchasing the fluid. John entered the abandoned building and squirted fluid throughout. Nothing was left, but memories, thanks to Magneto. The building had to go. He dropped the fluid bottle near the door and took a deep breath before striking the match and dropping it onto the concrete.

Watching the fire consume the building made him feel better, however, it wouldn't solve the lingering emptiness in his soul. John would have watched it burn to the ground but soon New York City's Bravest would be at the scene putting out the flames and coming to the conclusion that it was arson. Getting caught wasn't an option. "This isn't over" John declared before he left.

It was 3:30 in the morning when John got back to the mansion. Before he went inside, Mother Nature was calling. He unzipped his pants and took a quick leak in the bushes that start on either side of the front door and go around the entire mansion. John always thought they looked hideous. He burned a couple of them 5 years ago when he was 16. Still to this day, he hadn't verbally confessed. Xavier made him plant new ones, trim, and water all of the bushes for six weeks.

Maybe it was the alcohol but as he was walking through the mansion he thought _'what if by some chance the bushes turn yellow because of my pee...'_ Yeah, it was definitely the alcohol.

John eventually made it to his room. Bobby was sound asleep, snoring. Normally he would throw his sneaker to make Bobby turn over, thus, stop the snoring, but all he wanted to do was _crash_. As soon as John's damp body hit the mattress, he was out like a light.

**A/N: **I'm a review whore, so please hit the blue button and review, thanks : )**  
**

**A note for the new readers:** I started this fic in '04; therefore, this story wasn't inspired by X3 in any way.

**Side note:** X2 is still my inspiration. I got absolutely nothing from X3.


	11. Don’t Ignore The Signs

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the wait. Enjoy!

**What The Hell?**

**CH. 11****  
**

**Don't Ignore The Signs**

Robin slept in a Nike shoebox on top of John's nightstand. The nightstand was against the wall in the middle of the room between the two beds. It was five in the morning when Robin went off just like an alarm clock. Robin and alarm clocks share a couple of things in common. Both can be loud and make noise. However, one you can shut off by flipping a switch or throwing it against a wall, but the other wasn't that simple, it wanted something besides waking you up. You can throw it if you wish, but that's not very nice.

John and Bobby woke up immediately. When John sat up it felt like there were daggers in his head, thus, he fell back down. "Jesus! Not so loud! What does it want?" said John through gritted teeth. He squirmed in his bed from the pain and tried to block Robin's cries with his pillow.

"I don't know. It's your bird." Replied Bobby in annoyance.

"My head is killing me!"

"It's probably hungry." Bobby sighed. "I have sour gummy worms."

"Don't feed it those." John bellowed. "Make it stop!" He pleaded desperately.

Bobby rolled his eyes, "You owe me." He threw on a royal blue t-shirt and decided to go outside in his boxers.

"Hurry!" Yelled John, before Bobby closed the door

* * *

When Bobby exited the mansion and rounded the corner he made a face, "Is that urine I smell?" With nothing to gain from finding out the answer, Bobby continued to his destination, Storm's garden.

He watered the dirt dozing off every so often. He stood in the garden forgetting why he was there in the first place, but that's understandable considering it was 5:30 in the morning; and most people aren't coherent at that time… especially when it's not planned. Bobby created a puddle, which didn't help. He didn't want to drown the worms; he just needed to draw them out. When Bobby noticed he was making a puddle he shut off the water and played the _waiting game_. As he was waiting, he was thinking to himself if he were a worm would he rather drown, get fried on concrete by the sun, or get eaten by a bird.

* * *

"Robin, please stop! You're going to make my head explode!"

Robin stopped for a moment but then it was reminded by a rumble. The little bird took a deep breath and belted out all over again.

John couldn't take it anymore. He shut the lid to the Nike box. John assumed Robin would instantly go to sleep if it was surrounded by darkness; however, Robin wasn't your average bird.

Robin jumped with enough force to flip the lid open. John could have sworn Robin gave him an 'evil eye'. He scooped up the small bird, held it in his palm and spoke softly, "Bobby will be back shortly. I know this because he would like to go back to sleep, as would I."

Bobby entered the room, he didn't look very happy. Three worms were squirming in his hand, his sneakers were muddy, and John didn't manage to give him a title.

"What's your problem?" John didn't care but he asked anyway.

"No Uncle?"

"You and I aren't brothers."

With the worms still in his fist, Bobby crossed his arms, "I just went outside in my boxers. That doesn't earn me a damn title?"

"Alright! You can have 'rambling lunatic' for crying out loud." Robin started up again. "What the fuck are you waiting for, Bobby?"

"I don't think Robin is old enough to eat the worms like this… I think they need to be regurgitated." Bobby glanced at John, "Whatever you're thinking… stop. I'm not a fucking bird! Besides, Robin is not even my responsibility, but I still deserve a real title."

John grinned, he wasn't thinking that but the thought of Bobby regurgitating a worm was amusing. "When I first found it, I fed it a non-regurgitated worm, so it's old enough." John pointed his index finger at Bobby, "Be careful of what you say… you don't want to put ideas in my head."

Bobby took a step closer to John to hand him the worms, "You smell like ass, John. Your odor probably woke Robin in the first place."

John shrugged and looked up at Bobby, "The worms are kind of soggy."

Bobby returned the shrug, "They'll slide down Robin's throat better this way. Beggars can't be choosers."

John snorted, "This one can."

Bobby went into the bathroom to wash his hands. When he came back he went straight to his bed to lie down and hopefully get at least four more hours of sleep. "What are the chances of you finding a bird, better yet… a bird with an attitude?"

"I like this one. It's special."

"John, you can't keep on referring to the bird as 'it', so is it a boy or girl?"

John looked down at Robin and then glanced at Bobby before he asked the living creature in his palm the question of the day. "Robin, are you a boy?"

Bobby laughed. John ignored him and asked Robin the opposite, "Robin, are you a girl?"

Robin squeaked and John turned to Bobby, "I told you _she's_ special."

Bobby sat up in his bed and raised his voice, "That doesn't mean anything!"

"Go right ahead and ask her yourself." John grinned, "I'm telling you, she's not your ordinary Robin."

Bobby asked the bird a few times and every time he asked her if she was a girl she would squeak. "If she's so special… she'd be able to talk."

John placed Robin back in the Nike box , "All in due time, my x-polar opposite." He rolled over in his bed to face the wall and was able to fall asleep without having to count any sheep.

* * *

_It's dark and damp. There are four walls but no windows or doors. The lone soul sits in the corner on the cold floor hugging his knees. The only sound he hears is the rapid beating of his own heart. _

Robin was quietly sitting in the Nike box inquisitively studying a daddy-long-leg spider crawling on the edge of the shoebox.

_A spark hits the floor and a line of fire is created. The fire quickly rises and almost touches the ceiling. The flames race toward the other side of the room. With nowhere to go, the man squeezes his eyes shut, holds up his arms to protect his face and accepts his fate._

"NO!" John sprung up in his bed. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve and checked the time; it was one in the afternoon. John swung his feet over the side of the bed. He decided to take a shower and officially start the day.

* * *

Bobby walked past the kitchen but stopped in his tracks when he noticed a figure in the corner of his eye. He turned around and walked into the kitchen to see who it was. Rogue was in the kitchen drinking coffee. Her back was facing him.

"Hi Rogue, did you see John last night?"

She knew who the voice belong to, but she turned around to acknowledge his presence, "Yeah, he was at a bar; it wasn't a pretty sight." She paused. "He was so _cold_."

Bobby sat in the seat across from her. She circled her finger around the mug's rim, "Did he talk to you about anything?"

"He was still sleeping when I woke up. He didn't tell me anything at five in the morning when Robin demanded attention. John keeps his thoughts to himself though. The only time I can figure out what he's thinking is when it's about fire."

"The loss of his gift is bothering him."

"Wouldn't it bother you, especially if it was without your consent?"

"Of course it would, but I don't think his head is in the right place." Rogue placed the mug down on the table and looked Bobby straight in the eye, "He shouldn't be thinking it's _the end of the world_."

Bobby stared at her. He agreed, but John was more complicated than most people. He reached out across the table and touched Rogue's gloved hand, "I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

Bobby got up and turned on the flat-screen TV that was located in the kitchen.

'_Late last night an abandoned building was purposely set on fire. It took firefighters over an hour to put out the flames.'_

Bobby turned to Rogue; they were both thinking the same thing.

"He was drunk." However, Rogue wasn't sure that was the actual reason. It was the only logical explanation she could come up with, but is it something deeper?

**A/N:** Reviews got me to pick up the slack; you all know what to do.


	12. Uncertainty

**A/N:** This update is my holiday present to you, enjoy.

**What the hell?**

**Ch. 12  
**

**Uncertainty**

John closed his eyes and let the water hit his face. It was relaxing; all the tension he had was gone for the time being, but he couldn't stay in there forever. He shut off the water, stepped out of the shower and dried his hair with a towel, leaving his hair messy. John wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom to get clothes. "Robin, do you think anyone would care if I walked around the mansion nude?" Robin starred at him blankly. John grinned, "That's exactly the look I'd get with a couple of giggles." In two minutes John was fully dressed. He scooped up Robin and left the bedroom.

John stopped in the kitchen for a quick snack. Feeling slightly uncomfortable leaving Robin on the counter or on the table, he decided to make toast using his unoccupied hand. The only tricky part would be untwisting the twist-tie. After attempt number five, John decided to put Robin down. "Don't move," he ordered. A few seconds later, attempt number six was a success. John put his hand in his pocket looking for his lighter. For a second he forgot; and for a second, he felt foolish. He depended on an inanimate object that fueled his power, a power that defined him. Discouraged, John lost his appetite.

* * *

John was relaxing in the den, sitting in a recliner that was facing the fireplace. Losing himself in the flames, he sat there alone with Robin in his arms. He was alone, that is, until Logan walked in.

"Who's the pipsqueak?"

"Robin." John replied with no hesitation. However, he knew what was coming next.

"You're the genius that came up with that name, huh?"

He shrugged, "I've never had a pet before, not that Robin is my pet, but yes, I named her."

Logan grunted in acknowledgment. "So what are you doing in here anyway?"

"Trying to drown _myself_ in self pity," John said, emphasizing the word 'myself'.

"Well, at least I can finally say there is one human in this world that doesn't hate us."

"That's not funny."

Logan smirked, "Just a little."

"Leave me alone," John said bluntly. "I want to drown alone."

"What about, pipsqueak?"

John waved him off, "Just go." He would have flipped Logan off, but then he'd also be missing a limb and not just his gift.

"Suit yourself." Logan stopped at the doorway and turned, "You know…" John sunk in the recliner as he heard Logan. "Technically you can still control fire. You still can blow it out, and extinguish it."

John let out a loud sigh and waited a few minute before saying to Robin, "You're not a pipsqueak…well, not in my book anyway." He didn't notice Rogue standing behind the recliner.

"I think you talk to that bird more than you talk to me," she said softly, revealing her presence.

"Jealous?"

"Not at all…it's cute. I've never seen this delicate side of you. As a matter of fact, I don't think anyone has."

"I'm just full of surprises."

Putting the jokes aside, it was time to get serious. She stood in front of him, blocking the fireplace from his view. "What are you doing to yourself, John? The broken glass, drinking, arson," she paused, "whatever this is…"

His grin faded, "Dealing with things my own way."

"So arson was on your agenda last night. You didn't tell me." Rogue crossed her arms, "Were you ever going to?"

"It had to be done. I can't explain it." He avoided her eyes and her question, but he knew, she knew the answer.

Unable to come up with a reply, Rogue left the room showing no sign of emotion in front of him.

The fire had extinguished ironically just as Rogue left. John shook his head, at her, at himself.

Twenty minutes later, he was still in the same spot.

Bobby blithely strolled into the den. "John, if you were a worm… would you rather drown, get fried on concrete by the sun, or get eaten by a bird?"

John immediately stood up, and told Bobby he'd get back to him on that right before he left Bobby alone in the den.

* * *

John couldn't believe he was actually thinking about Bobby's stupid question; but it was better than thinking about his dreams, fire, and whether or not to find Rogue and let her in. It wasn't just simply 'letting her in' – it was everything.

He paced back and forth in his room contemplating what to do. He eventually decided to stop pacing because it wasn't helping, so he sat on the edge of his bed. While in deep thought, dark clouds rolled in, covering the once clear blue sky. A loud crack of thunder snapped John out of it, and pouring rain started thereafter. He slowly stood up and put his hand in the Nike box, palm side face up, this time giving Robin the option to come to him. Without hesitation, Robin walked over and hopped into his palm. This small gesture wasn't small at all. Unfortunately John's mind was somewhere else; therefore, he didn't think much of it. John left the room to find his roommate.

* * *

Rogue held back tears while walking through the corridors. She was about to exit the mansion when she realized what she needed to do. She needed to get inside John's head. It was the only way.

Rogue ran to Xavier's office and knocked on the door before entering.

"Have you located Magneto yet, Professor?" That wasn't the question she really wanted to ask.

"I'm still working on it. When I do, you'll be one of the first to know."

Rogue pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and asked Xavier the real question, "I'm worried about John," she started, "he won't let me in. Something isn't right," she paused. "I need you to read his mind."

"Rogue, you know I can't do that."

"I know." She admitted. "I just had to ask. He's so angry and depressed. I don't know if he's trying to protect me or push me away. I don't know what he's thinking and we both know he can be reckless."

* * *

John found Bobby in the common room sitting on the couch watching television.

"Take care of her for me." John practically shoved Robin in Bobby's face and he instinctively took Robin from him. As soon as she was safely in his Bobby's hands, John turned, and walked out of the room as fast as he could without actually running. Robin let out a deafening screech. John heard it halfway through the hall; ignoring it, he continued.

He ran through the lower corridors without looking back. He stopped when he found the ladder to Rogue's safe haven. John took a deep breath before stepping onto the roof. It didn't take long before he was soaked from the rain. John stood at the roof's edge, various memories running through his head. They were the reason he was there, at the edge, ready to fall.

**A/N: **Are holiday presents supposed to be wrapped with angst? Have a happy holiday! I accept gifts in return, but only in green paper form. I know by this time of year most of you are broke, so reviews are just as good (even better).


	13. Choices

**Former PenName: crazy4horses**

**A/N:** I know, I know . . . I haven't updated this in awhile. I am SO sorry. Major blockage. This chapter is dedicated to the person who told me this story was their favorite. I've looked and looked but I can't find who to give an appropriate shout-out. You know who you are.

_Dear anger, you made me so high  
You were faithful to show up on time  
Such a flame that was burning in your eyes  
I let you go  
But you're still chasing_

_Dear X (You don't own me)_

_by Disciple_

**What The Hell?**

**Ch. 13**

**Choices**

_John stood at the edge of the roof, various memories running through his head. They were the reason he was there, at the edge, ready to fall._

He closed his eyes in an attempt to stop the memories that were flooding him; however that just made them more vivid. Through his memories he felt as though he was reliving all of the major events in his life in just minutes. Those were the occurrences that he decided molded his life to what it was. Would he have changed certain things if he could? Sure—though he would never admit it to anyone—but there was no point in dwelling as the past would remain in the past. Everyone had to live with the decisions they made—good or bad.

John opened his eyes and looked down; drops of water fell in front of his eyes from dangling strands of hair, plummeting to the ground like liquid grenades. Heights didn't bother him; however, Robin's screech did. It was like she knew he was up to something. He slightly smirked at that thought. He pushed the wet hair from his eyes and wiped his face with his sleeve. Eventually the good memories started to surface. There weren't that many, but they were significant, and if he ended his life, there wouldn't be anymore to come. He'd been fighting his whole life: to belong, for purpose, to exist, and now he had to fight for his gift. A gift that was labeled a curse by many; John swore to himself that he would fight; and if he died trying, it would be worth it. He closed his eyes again. The rain continued to fall and cleanse.

"John?" Bobby spoke quietly, moving cautiously towards his roommate. He stopped to give his friend a reasonable amount of distance. His stance indicated that he would be prepared for anything.

John's eyes snapped open. He eventually turned around slowly. "I was just thinking," he said quietly, stepping away from the edge.

Bobby gradually stood casually. "I hate to ask, but . . . you were going to jump . . . weren't you?"

John sighed and lowered his head, "I was thinking about it," he admitted and then glanced at Bobby, "but that's not the answer."

A crack of thunder made both boys flinch.

"After you," Bobby said, "Unless you'd like to be the _lucky_ one out of a million to get struck by lightning."

Once back inside, John ran his hand through his hair again. "I'm drenched." He wrung the tail of his shirt; water hit the floor creating a small puddle. "We're going to leave a trail of water behind. Not the best _new power_ if you ask me."

"I could always freeze it." He shrugged. "Someone is bound to slip either way."

"In that case, you'd be the first person to blame," grinned John. "Where's Robin?"

"With Logan." Bobby answered nonchalantly.

His jaw dropped. "Seriously?!"

Bobby straightened out his back and walked tall. "He didn't have a choice because I didn't give him one."

"You've finally grown some balls. I'm proud."

"Shut up." Bobby said, pushing his roommate.

"How did you find me?" John asked.

"It took some time since we live in a mansion. First, I ran to the main entrance, asked around. No one had seen you. If you were planning to leave you wouldn't be concerned with who saw you, so I ruled that out. Then—"

"Wait." John faltered asking the question that was on his mind. "Did you run into Rogue?"

"No."

"Good."

"Even though Rogue never told me, I still knew it was her favorite spot," Bobby shrugged. "I'm a little surprised she told you, but I get it."

"If I had jumped . . . what would you have done?"

"I would have saved you." He replied, matter-of-factly.

"How?"

"I've learned a few things since you left." Bobby said cryptically, but remained modest. "Besides, if I tell you . . . you won't believe me."

John looked at his roommate but Bobby kept his gaze straight ahead. "You need to show off more often, Drake."

They rounded the corner and stopped short with a simultaneous squeak from their footwear as Logan was coming towards them. The boys gave each other a quick glance before turning back to the person coming their way. The always fearless Wolverine looked like he was holding a newborn baby in the palms of his outstretched arms. Bobby and John never saw him so uncomfortable. It was amusing, though they didn't dare show it. Logan handed Robin over to John and then gave an icy stare to Bobby.

"What?" Bobby asked with an attitude to his tone.

"For that… I'm giving you fifty hours in the danger room."

Bobby crossed his arms, rolled his eyes, and drawled, "You cannot be serious."

"One hundred." Logan eyed the two boys in front of him and asked, "Why are both of you soaked?"

John opened his mouth to explain but Bobby beat him to it. "Earlier I was out doing a mixture of things. I didn't know it was supposed to rain. I ran into John on my way out and hurriedly asked him to help me move stuff. We weren't even out there that long."

Logan eyed them both and grunted. He went between the two young boys and clapped Bobby on the shoulder. He couldn't see, but Bobby made a face.

As soon as the older mutant was out of earshot, John said, "Thank you for not spilling the truth even though he knew you were spewing total bullshit. I'm relieved he didn't press." He lowered his voice, "What happened on the roof stays between us."

"Understood." Bobby rubbed his shoulder. "Wolverine is going to kill me."

John grinned, "Can I watch?"

The ice mutant wanted to scowl, but did the opposite instead.

John shifted his weight at the brief moment of silence. "We better change out of these damp clothes."

Bobby nodded. "There are sweats in the locker room, which is where I'm headed anyway. I'm going to the gym to get a head start because that man will break me if I don't. I can feel the bruise starting to form on my shoulder. He barely even touched me!" He took a few amble steps away and turned around to face John. "Before I go . . . are you sure you're okay?"

He thought about it for a moment before answering the question. "Honestly, I'm not sure, but I do know that I don't need to be observed twenty-four-seven or locked up in a padded room."

"Okay." Bobby turned around. As he strode away, he said sternly, "Don't make me encase your lifeless body in ice, _Pyro_. I'd do it too because I know you'd hate it."

Goosebumps started to appear on John's arms. It wasn't due to the threat, but he was still wet and his roommate dropped the temperature, which indicated that the warning was not a bluff. No matter the tone, when it came to Bobby you could tell he meant business by the temperature. The brunette exhaled and watched his breath swirl upwards until it disappeared. John quickly glanced down at his trembling feathered friend and then headed in the direction of his destination.

With each step, his sneakers made a wet squishy noise. A few students John passed along the way to his room asked him why he was wet, but he ignored the questions and the whispers. He entered his room, gently closed the door and placed Robin in the shoe box. John peeled off all of his damp clothes and stuck them in a corner on his side of the room. He put on a fresh pair of boxers and padded into the bathroom to dry his hair as best he could with a towel. Immediately after, he rolled into bed, and placed his entwined hands behind his head. John's stare was vacant, but rock-solid. His gaze shifted from the ceiling to a familiar Zippo that he tossed into the trash. He would've shoved it into a drawer, but he didn't feel like getting up. He stared at it until his eyelids got heavy and gave out.

* * *

John was awoken by a sudden pull to his skin. His eyes snapped open as he yanked his arm away from Rogue. He yelled at her at the top of his lungs, "YOU HAD NO RIGHT!" He felt completely exposed among other feelings. Still half naked, he stood on one side of the bed and she stood on the other.

"I'm not going to argue because you're right . . ." she paused, "but I knew something was going on with you. As your girlfriend, I had to know." She took a step forward. He took step back.

He looked at the floor because he couldn't bear to look at her. "Get out!"

"Do you think yelling at me is going to scare me or drive me away, John? I told you that I love you. I still do."

"Get out." He repeated, but calmly this time.

Rogue waited a few moments before taking a few short steps to the door. She twisted the knob opening the door less than half way and looked over her shoulder at him. His gaze remained on the floor. She shut the door in front of her and locked it. She wouldn't; couldn't walk away from him. She couldn't leave it alone. She wouldn't. Confidence and determination filled her veins with each step towards her seemingly broken boyfriend. She cupped his face in her hands. The fire and anger in his eyes were replaced with shame and defeat. "John," she waited until he met her eyes before she continued, "you have nothing to be ashamed about. You didn't go through with it. I understand that you feel empty, but you are still the smart ass I fell in love with. It took a little time, but I saw through you . . . eventually. I'm trying to tell you that I care. It's the reason why I betrayed you. I wish that I could use a different word, but it's apt for the situation and there's no reason to sugarcoat it. I know what I did; I heard it in your voice earlier. Truth be told, I knew how you were going to feel, but I made a choice." She fell silent for a few heartbeats, holding her gaze, refusing to look anywhere else. "Please . . . say something," she pleaded.

He always knew she was different than the other girls. It's the reason he was attracted to her from the start. Most would've exited after being ordered to leave. She didn't. He always thought he was destined to be alone, but yet, she was here, and he was trying to make her leave. He realized it was the anger taking over once again. She once told him not to bottle it up as nothing good came from it. It was time take the advice he was given and let the anger go.

"I love you too, Rogue." After those five words were spoken she dropped her hands from his face and he leaned in to kiss her, cupping her face this time. After the kiss, he gently kissed her forehead and then embraced her. "If I didn't have you," he paused, "my prized possession would still be in a garbage bag somewhere."

That made her smile. It was his way of saying he cared. She knew he did, but a little reassurance never hurt. The couple disentangled. Rogue hooked a finger on the elastic to his boxers. Her smile grew wider as her eyes slowly navigated from his body to his face. His expression emulated hers. She continued to smile as she guided him towards the bed by his underwear.

**A/N**: Motivate me: review!


	14. You Can't Deny What Lives Inside You

**A/N: **Thanks to those sticking around AND leaving reviews, it means **a lot**.

**What the Hell?**

**Ch. 14**

**You Can't Deny What Lives Inside You**

The couple was asleep, tangled in sheets. Rogue was using John's bare chest as a pillow. Through their makeup session, they were interrupted once—many hours earlier at an unidentified time—and as soon as Bobby started to pound on the door, the couple told him to go away in unison. Reluctantly, the ice elemental mutant did as he was ordered, relieved his roommate responded and wasn't alone.

John remained still as his eyelids lifted open. He heard Robin's movements within in the box and was thankful she was being patient about breakfast. With his free hand, he held and played with a small portion of Rogue's white strands, while she continued to sleep. Was letting go of hate and anger as simple as being said? No, unfortunately you'd be a fool to think otherwise. Those two feelings went hand in hand: hate and anger. However, on the other hand, a start's a start and you had to begin somewhere—regardless of the inevitable bumpy road ahead.

The bigger question was: do you explore the reasons for those emotions? They'd been a part of him and consumed him long before the Master of Magnetism was ever in the picture. John shook his head and sarcastically snickered under his breath at the first solution that came to him. "Too easy", he murmured.

"Hmm?" Rogue's hand lightly brushed his skin as it traveled to his right side, locking tight in a half embrace.

John kissed the top of her head and gently caressed her arm. "Good morning, lover." He felt her cheek shift to a grin.

Roughly thirty minutes later, she deeply inhaled as she positioned herself to a sitting position, slowly stretching and exhaling along the way. Rogue covered her chest with a sheet and used her uninhibited hand to fork her fingers through his disheveled brown hair.

"Whose fault was that?" John asked, smirking.

"I couldn't keep my hands off," she mused.

"At some point I thought you were going to pull it out."

"I was a little rough, huh?" she said, smiling.

He shrugged. "I didn't complain."

Rogue bit her lip playfully. "No, you didn't," she agreed. "It's all there."

John stared at her as the sunlight highlighted every inch of her slender curvy frame. Robin brought him back to reality with a squeak; a reminder that it was time for breakfast and she was ready. He blinked a few times and took a mental picture of Rogue. "Stunning," he whispered, rolling onto his knees. John quickly placed his left hand at the back of her head, leaned in and kissed her deeply. Slowly, their lips parted. Their faces were only an inch away from each other. "It's going to be so hard keeping my hands to myself."

"I'm going to have that issue too." She gave him a quick kiss. "Go. You have responsibilities."

John made a face, "When you say it like that . . . "

"I know. You'll be okay." Rogue softly smiled at him.

John untangled himself from the sheets, pushed to his feet and padded a few steps to the drawer. She silently watched as he pulled out clothes. He felt her eyes on his bare behind. It pleased him as he wouldn't want her gaze anywhere else. Routinely he would cover that area first, but he decided to start getting dressed by buttoning a brown shirt. When John was done getting dressed, he pocketed his shark lighter without hesitation. He walked over to Robin's box, scooping her up. Once he was in the hall, he turned around, quickly giving Rogue a wink before shutting the door to his room.

* * *

John spent over ten minutes scouring the grass for the robin's breakfast. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing," he sighed. "How about giving the survival gifts you were born with, a try?" He bent down and Robin hopped onto the grass. "I did some research," he paused, "Shocked? I am too. Your species consumes about forty percent invertebrates like earthworms, caterpillars, and beetle grubs; and sixty percent of fruits and berries. The latter is easy." The small bird cocked its head to the side. "C'mon, stop looking at me and use your eyes. They are better than mine . . . especially for this sort of thing. Use your hearing too. The ground is still damp. It should be a pretty successful hunt. However, if you stay put . . . you won't find anythi-" John stopped short, taking in what he was saying as it applied to his predicament. Absently, he reached into his pocket, pulling out the Zippo. While in thought, in a particular pattern the lighter rolled between his fingers**. **The stupor state was broken a few minutes later when the silver object fell from his hand. John didn't move while scanning the lawn for Robin. His muscles relaxed when he spotted her doing her bird-thing: cocking her head left and right followed by a short sprint. He picked up the lighter, popped open the cap and placed a thumb on the wheel. No flame; just pathetic sparks. John wasn't surprised; he hadn't filled it in awhile, nevertheless, that didn't stop him from getting back into an old habit.

"Hey."

John spun around, his heart pounding.

Logan held up his hands. "Sorry, kid. I didn't mean to startle you."

John noticed a slight shift to the older mutant's gaze and that's when he realized what he was doing inadvertently—trying to ignite the flint repeatedly. He immediately closed the fluidless Zippo and shoved it into his front pocket. Forcing a smile, John sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "What are you doing out here, Logan?" He paused for a moment, quickly adding, "Besides, increasing my heart rate."

Logan detected the slight drawl to his tone and countered, "Your answer to that question is probably more interesting."

"Robin is hunting." John replied and then turned around.

Logan walked beside him and snorted, "That's hunting?"

John didn't respond. After about five minutes, he spoke, his tone even, "It's weird," he paused, sighing. "Not being able to sense the pull I used to get when I had my power. This constant void I feel will never disappear unless we find _him._"His gaze remained straight ahead as he continued, "I can feel that emptiness expanding and I'm afraid that it's going to swallow me whole one day—my own black hole."

"We'll find him, always do. It's only a matter of time." Logan took off, uttering, "Don't hurt her, Allerdyce."

John remained silent, watching the taller man saunter away, racking his brain for the reason behind that warning.

After a few strides, Logan decided to give the boy a little more to work with. Raising his voice a few notches, he said, "It's in the air, kid."

Automatically, John lifted his right arm and took a whiff. It wasn't that. His eyebrows knitted together. "What the . . ." he murmured and then cursed at himself mentally for being momentarily dense. "Ugh, you have got to be kidding me! He can smell that too?" His eyes dropped to the ground, stopping when they met red feathers—the color of the bird's breast was more distinct than when he first found her. John picked Robin up and walked to a wooden bench nearby. After he sat down, he placed Robin on the bench. "Do you want to try to fly? If not, you should at least stretch your wings." John stuffed both hands into his pockets. It seemed to him that the young bird was pondering over the suggestion. A few minutes later, Robin opened both wings and began stretching them. In excitement, she started flapping them. "Feels good, huh? _That's _freedom." A few heartbeats later, John added, "They seem to work . . . now put them to work." With that pep-talk, like a rocket, she took off. Dipping so close to the grass, John thought she was going to crash; but in the blink of an eye, the robin gained altitude and remained in flight. John gladly watched as the world appeared to change for his feathered friend—becoming whole. He could see from her movements just what it meant to her to be flying. She perched herself on a tree branch, standing tall, alert. Robin hopped from branch to branch eventually snatching something with her beak. Gliding swiftly back to John, she deposited a crushed caterpillar next to him on the bench. She looked at him expectantly and John cocked his head to the side. "Ah, thanks, but I want _you_ to have it." Robin nudged it closer to him. "I'm touched. I truly am, but . . . " he trailed off as he picked up the damaged insect to peer at it. It was as long as his index finger and the parts that weren't flattened were fatter than he would've preferred. John titled his head back, '_one, two, three . . . down the hatch._' At the mental 'three' he opened his mouth with no further hesitation, consuming the gift with as few bites as necessary. "I take it since you were so persistent that it was a parting gift, huh?" Knowing there wouldn't be a response, he waited anyway. After two minutes, smiling softly, he spoke, "Good bye, Robin." She jumped on his knee for a brief moment and then took off in the direction that called to her. John watched her fly away until she was just another speck in the environment.

* * *

The sleeveless white t-shirt clung to John's damp skin. His sight was locked onto the dangling and swaying target in front of him. He tightened the gloves on his hands before throwing another punch at the lifeless object, though the motivation was far from lifeless. Adrenaline took over as John repeatedly pummeled the exercise bag. Aiming: high, low, mid-section, and high again and again and again.

At the touch to his left shoulder, John immediately spun around, cocking his right arm back. His arm sprung forward making contact with a face. Blinded by adrenaline, John bent over to catch his breath.

"Ow"

Still hunched over using his gloved hands for support, John lifted his head and saw Bobby on the floor holding the left side of his face. "Shit. Sorry." He used his teeth to pull the Velcro to one of the gloves. Standing up straight, he stuffed the glove under his arm. John outstretched his other arm to Bobby and pulled his roommate to his feet.

Bobby flexed his jaw. "I called your name . . ."

John said nothing as he removed the other glove, brushing past Bobby to quench his thirst. After draining half of the water bottle, he sat on the bench, picked up a towel, and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Rogue was looking for you." Bobby said, making himself an ice pack, he pressed it to his jaw. "I didn't expect you to be in here . . . let alone _working out_."

"It's a good way to release anger." John took another gulp of water. "Hitting you was an accident, but it felt good," he admitted.

He smiled at the information and said, "Well, I'm glad it was helpful . . . for one of us."

John tried to hide his amusement and changed the subject, "Can you tell Rogue to meet me down here?"

"Mission accepted." Bobby replied and exited the gym.

Hastily, John stood to his feet and jogged into the hall just beyond the doorframe. "On second thought, Drake," he called out, "I'll find her as soon as I am finished here." Bobby didn't turn around; instead he lifted his hand in acknowledgement.

Once back inside the gym, John bent over taking out a few things from his dark blue duffel bag and then stuffed a few into it. He removed his t-shirt and tossed a towel onto his shoulder, proceeding in the direction of the showers.

* * *

Lounging alone in one of the many commons rooms, Rogue tried to concentrate on the pages in front of her. After reading the same sentence for the fifth time, she gave up, tossing the book onto the far cushion. She would have to find out who the killer is another time.

When her eyes landed on John's figure, she swung her legs to the floor, stood up and placed both of her hands on her hips. She finally spoke when he was within a yard, "I thought you were going to meet me in your room after Robin's breakfast. Speaking of . . . where is she?"

"With nature where she belongs," he answered in a casual tone. "Her exiting gift was a bug, a fat caterpillar to be exact, and I ate it . . . for her." The corner of his mouth quirked upwards briefly at the recollection, disappearing for the apology that followed, "I'm sorry, Rogue. I shouldn't have—," he paused, "I wasn't thinking. Anger took over my thoughts and—"

"I saw Bob—"

"That was an accident."

"I'm not accusing you of anything, John, but I can't deny that you didn't _shoot _the messenger."

He smiled and cocked his head to the side, "There is some truth to that, but I never gave _the messenger_ a chance to speak before I clocked him. I'm surprised he didn't object to being the messenger again."

"He should've asked for a contract. There are labor laws . . ."

John laughed and Rogue couldn't help but laugh too.

When the amusement of the joke faded, John said, "I realized something this morning, Rogue," he began, "I don't know why it took me so long to get my shit together, but I'm done waiting. I'm done complaining. I'm done sitting on the sidelines. I should be helping. I was only with the Brotherhood for a year, but in that year I learned a lot about Magneto and how he operates. It's time for me to be useful instead of the opposite, which is how I've felt and how I've been acting ever since Magneto stripped me of my X-Gene. I want, need, control of my life back, and he's the ke—" He stopped short, in thought. A few seconds later, he flashed a grin, "He's the _relic_ key with all of the answers. He forced me into a mental and emotional prison, and I've finally broken out. Nothing—and no one—is going to hold me back. This is it."

Rogue's lips formed into a big smile, "I can see the determination in your eyes, hear it in your voice, and I can sense it." She hugged him and whispered, "I've missed this part of you—the spark before the flame."

Typically one with a quick tongue, John found himself speechless.

"Let's get to it, former Henchman." she teased, ending with a quick hit to his chest with the back of her hand and then took off in a sprint.

John watched as Rogue's hair flowed behind her like a river of brown silk. _'Sometimes . . . _all_ you need is a spark'_, he mused, before running after her.

* * *

**A/N**: Decisions, decisions (for whatever I write next for this story) . . . my head is going to explode. I've started planning it out and it's giving me a headache. With that confession . . .

Have a Happy New Year!

Reviews are like cookies and I love cookies. In other words, I want you to blow up my phone with reviews.


	15. The Spark Before The Flame

**A/N: **Thanks for the review, greenskinned. I didn't notice until I read what you said regarding Bobby and you're right! (For this story) I had in mind the comic version of Iceman, who can be immature and a class clown.

Anne Marie - You'll have to continue reading to find out if there is a cure for Pyro or if it's permanent.

**What the Hell?**

**Chapter 15**

**The Spark Before The Flame**

Rogue waited briefly for John to come up behind her. As her hand rose, a fist formed; before making contact with the door, she mentally heard two words that allowed entrance.

They entered the office and stood side by side. The Professor was facing the window behind his meticulously neat desk. Rogue glanced at her boyfriend wondering what he was thinking.

Professor Charles Xavier barely moved as he made the wheelchair rotate to face them. He was smiling for two reasons. First, he glared in John's direction, "He's reminding himself to refill his lighter. He's also conjecturing what I've been doing all this time to find Erik."

John looked at her, but held his tongue—not showing any signs of regret. Rogue felt her boyfriend's gaze. She opened her mouth to speak, but Professor X silenced her with his hand before she could utter a word. "As you both know, I don't typically enter your minds without permission, but—"

"You don't have to explain or apologize," John interjected and then smirked, "It's not a _crime_ to have some fun with your gift once in awhile." He shrugged and added, "I have nothing to hide."

"What can I do for the both of you?"

John countered. "Why ask the question when you all ready know the answer?"

The Professor's expression remained the same at the rhetorical question.

"What do we know?" John asked bluntly.

"It's been very quiet, I'm afraid."

He shifted his weight. "Well, as you already know, I want to help find him, and destroy what he hopes to accomplish."

Xavier nodded. "I thought you didn't play well with others . . ."

John snorted, "I was young, angry, and arrogant when I said that. I still am, I suppose, but I _know_ I can't do this on my own."

"And you don't have to," Rogue added.

Less than twenty minutes later, everyone Professor Xavier telepathically asked to meet him in his office had arrived. Rogue and John had moved, planting themselves on either side of the desk, facing each other. They all stood in a half circle, Scott at the peak with Jean and Storm at his sides. Kitty followed Bobby to the right. Last in, Logan made his way to the left, next to Rogue.

"I've called you all here to announce that it's time to accelerate the search on Erik with John's assistance."

Scott's ruby gaze locked on John. "What are your thoughts?"

"He's a sneaky son of a bitch and prefers underground bases. He doesn't find anything wrong with praying on the weak—those that are forced to hide. There hasn't been any news or we would've heard something, so that tells me this operation is extremely low-key and not aimed at humans . . . yet."

"Unless the humans he targets have no family," Storm suggested.

"Why would he betray his own kind?" asked Kitty.

Rogue answered resentfully, "He's done it before."

"John, what do you propose?" Scott asked.

"We scout mutant hangouts." He received more confused looks than he anticipated. "Why is it that Magneto knows about them and you don't?" He sighed, the question not directed at anyone in particular. "The hangouts are usually located underground or in abandoned buildings in desolate areas. You'll find the more interesting looking mutants underground. Ideally the scout should be someone The Brotherhood—if present—won't recognize. They should also blend in." John took a breath before saying, "I want to give Magneto a surprise visit when the time is right." He shook his head because he knew what they were thinking, his tone hardened, "I'm going. Don't talk me out of it." He told everyone in the room. "I'm dead either way."

"Fine," Scott sighed and crossed his arms, "I mean . . . it's not, but okay; we have to discuss this, though. How are you going to protect yourself?"

John thought about the question before saying, "There have to be gadgets lying around that can give me some sort of defense."

"I'm not comf—"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take, Scott." John's eyes and tone matched in texture—firm and unbreakable.

The leader of the X-Men looked at his mentor for support.

Professor Xavier could make someone say or do anything he wanted, but he knew if he tinkered with John's mind, it would be the final act to push him over the edge. Xavier accepted the fact that either way blood would be on his hands. He knew the final decision the young man made was firmly wrapped in much thought and perseverance, and no matter which way he looked at the situation, he couldn't justify interfering. "It's his choice, Scott."

Scott's body hardened, but he didn't push.

Jean felt the disapproval coming from her husband, offering, "I'll do what I can to shield you—we all will try—but I can't make any promises."

John nodded. "I'm not looking for any. There are no guarantees in war."

Logan grunted. "Who is going to be the mole?"

The room fell quiet, until . . .

"I'll do it."

John moved from his spot to get a better picture. "She could pull it off," he said after a few moments. "If Kitty runs into trouble she can't be touched. What do you say, Leader?"

"Yeah, okay. I can't argue with that."

"For once," John muttered.

Hearing the comment loud and clear, Logan grunted in amusement and agreement.

"I'll make a list of the mutant hangouts I'm aware of. Kitty should be dressed like she's a runaway . . . Logan can help with that."

"On it." One set of Logan's claws ejected as he opened the door.

Kitty gasped as she realized where he was headed and what he was going to do. "Wait," she yelled, taking off after him.

"I don't know what she's worried about," said John, "I'd bet everything _I don't have_ that she can beat him without breaking a sweat." He snorted, "Hell, she won't even have to catch her breath."

"John, go to the basement," Scott instructed. "I'll meet you there in a little while."

"I'll come with you," insisted Rogue.

"Let's go." John looked over his shoulder, "Drake, are you coming?"

* * *

The trip to the basement was a quiet one. Once into the hall, Rogue's fingers intertwined with John's. John was the first to comment since leaving Xavier's office, "That went better than I'd expected."

"What if Kitty is asked to demonstrate what she can do?" asked Bobby from behind.

"Well, she can warn them first, which might make them reconsider or she can show _some _of her talents."

"I assume they'll have to see something," Rogue said.

"We could talk about all of the possible outcomes," replied John, "but ultimately it'll probably work out differently than we'd covered." He placed each hand in the back pockets of his pants. He felt cool metal on his fingers.

"I wonder what's in this room."

"We'll soon find out."

In the short space of silence, John started to laugh. "I was vulnerable when I my power, so how is it any different now, really?"

"If you think about it . . . most of us are, actually," Rogue said. "Scott is just trying to protect the team. There's a lot of weight on his shoulders and he blames himself for everything; that's the burden of being the leader, I guess."

The doors to the elevator hummed open. Scott stepped out and made a beeline to the door without uttering a word. He placed his palm on a black pad. After he removed his hand, it lit up with a ten-digit key pad, each number highlighted by a red circle. He quickly punched in the code, convincing the door to slide open and allow access.

The lights in the room illuminated automatically once Scott stepped in. John couldn't believe the things he saw. The technology looked so futuristic; even Steve Jobs would be impressed.

Cyclops stopped in the middle of the room and turned around. "As you can see we're stocked with—using your term—_gadgets_, but finding something that contains no metal will be a challenge," Scott said, stiffly.

"Got any flamethrowers?" Joked John, but there was no amusement in is voice or facial expression.

Scott regarded the young adult and said, "I know you're not serious, but what I'm going to say will be really important." He paused briefly and then told the well-known hothead to 'focus'. The leader of the X-Men purposely let the word soak in, before adding, "The mission always comes first. Personal feelings need to be pushed aside. Can you do that, Mr. Allerdyce?"

"Y—" John stopped short to raise his voice a few notches and to add confidence to his tone. "Yes."

"Good. Let's go find you some sort of defense."

* * *

All members of the team regrouped in the Ops room. John fished the list of underground hideouts out from his pocket, unfolded it and laid the crumpled sheet of paper on a huge digital map. When he touched an area on the map a red marker appeared. When he finished, there were a total of eleven markers. The map was projected on the wall for all to see with ease. "There are probably more, but these are the locations I'm familiar with. I've personally been to these." With blue markers John indicated the five areas he'd visited. "I think we should hit the spots where you will find by definition living and breathing freaks. For the record, they call themselves that! I'm not being intentionally insensitive." He took a breath and continued, "Kitty, be prepared for disdain. They don't care for normal folk." John ended the sentence in a southern accent. He tipped an invisible hat to her and winked. "Bobby, Rogue and I were talking and if you're asked about your power or required to demonstrate what you can do . . . I think it's best to keep the story close to the truth. Either they can believe you or you can destroy something of value-their choice." He held up a finger indicating he wasn't done, "Or . . . you can act naive—your choice."

Kitty's navy hooded sweatshirt was torn and holey in various spots; jeans were worn and torn at both knees. Fake plastic framed glasses hung from the collar. "Whatever the situation calls for . . . that's what I'll do."

"Kitty will be going in alone," Scott explained. "We won't have eyes, but we'll be able to hear and we will intervene if necessary. The objective: to find out if anyone has seen anything odd that has happened within the last few weeks. The ultimate goal: finding the needle, of which, is Magneto. K—"

"The sharp pain in my ass," muttered John.

"Agreed," Logan said through clenched teeth.

Unfazed, Scott continued, "Kitty, I know I don't have to tell you this, but be aware of your surroundings and listen carefully for anything that you think is relevant to our objectives." He paused. "Everyone else, suit up and meet at the Northern garage in twenty minutes."

* * *

Kitty Pryde couldn't help but wonder if they'd find anything here since the first two hideouts they tried had been deserted. Ducking slightly, Kitty cautiously walked through the inclining storm drain. The only sounds she heard were those that came from her own movement. At the end of the drain, she hopped off and went right as that was the only option that didn't require revealing that dead ends mean nothing to Shadowcat. Kitty trudged along the damp and chilly tunnel, stuffing both hands into her pockets. The further she went, the darker her surroundings became. She fished out a glow stick, bent it to break the inner container and shook the stick to fully mix the two components within: hydrogen peroxide and phenol. The stick glowed neon green as Kitty held it as far as her arm could extend in front of her. Kitty's heart rate increased at the sight of an opening. The entrance was half the height of a standard door. She ducked, keeping the glow stick close to her body. "There's no one here," she whispered, "I'm going to take a look around." Unlike the opening, inside she was able to stand up straight. Whoever inhabited the space took everything except for trash and crates, which, Kitty assumed were used as chairs. She picked up each one to make sure nothing was hidden underneath. Under the second to last crate a piece of torn paper caught her attention. In white bold letters it read '…ID OF THE GENE THAT MAKES YOU UNHUMAN? SPREAD THE WORD!' She bent down to pick it up and continued to read: 'Screenings will be held—' "Shit."

_"Are you okay?"_

"Yes, Jean," she responded in an even tone, "I think our objective just got a little more specific. I found something, but it's not complete. It seems like someone is claiming they can remove the x-gene, but unfortunately the location where the screenings are taking place was ripped off." Kitty folded the flyer and slid it into her back pocket. "I'll be out in a little while."

* * *

An hour later, Kitty was entering the next mutant hangout. She didn't really know what to expect but she didn't expect it to look . . . so . . . normal. She made a noise in disgust at herself. _Normal_. What was normal anyway? From the entrance door-frame, Kitty scanned the room; mentally noting the people and the environment. She stopped counting heads after ten. As she walked in she decided to sit at a vacant stool by the bar between two sets of couples. The shelves were empty as well as the counter top. No one seemed notice or seem to care she was there. Even though she wasn't complaining it made her feel slightly uneasy. Anti-mutant groups were growing rapidly each day, thus, in this world, if you were a mutant you had to be very cautious. She truly believed that would change one day, but for now, that's how it was.

Both pairs were distracted by their own conversations. Kitty leaned to one side so she could pull out the flyer without standing. First, she asked the pair to her left if they'd ever seen that advertisement. Both girls responded with 'no'. She did the same with the couple on the right receiving a 'no' and a 'nope' to her question. After asking a few more inhabitants of this current space the answers were no different.

"Have you seen this?" she asked once again, her interest fading with each unhelpful response.

"Why?"

That little question changed her stupor like shoving smelling salts under an almost down-and-out boxer's nose. Kitty cocked her head to the side, regarding the rough-around-the-edges type in front of her. He was much taller than she was, and his long black hair covered the majority of his face. He was the first to ask _her_ a question. She'd conjured up a story for that question which involved a missing friend, but the vibe she felt coming from this man required a different story. "The location is missing as you can see, and I want the gene that makes me considered . . . a freak . . . gone!" Kitty resisted the urge to cover her mouth as she realized her tone had inadvertently elevated. On top of that, she sounded so convincing; even she almost believed the words that came out of her mouth. "So, can you help?"

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! I love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a review!


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